Possibly my new favorite blog of all time. So true.
Tag Archives: funny
Morning conversation –
Z: Did you see my big new toothbrush?
S: I did! But you just got a new toothbrush at Christmas…
Z: Sometimes I like to treat myself.
S: Well, I know that about you, but usually you go bigger than a toothbrush.
Z: Times are tough.
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators this year during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator: ‘This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.’
2. Dressage commentator: ‘This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.’
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: ‘I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.’
4. Boxing Analyst: ‘Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.’
5. Softball announcer: ‘If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.’
6. Basketball analyst: ‘He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.’
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: ‘Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.’
8. Soccer commentator: ‘Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.’
9. Tennis commentator: ‘One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my God, what have I just said?’
As I mentioned in a previous post, I find something about the term “in the face” to be really funny.
Listening to the Adam Carolla show this morning they were doing a regular segment called Second Date Update and the guy said he hadn’t called the girl back (after sleeping with her TWICE during a church retreat weekend, by the way) because she was “a little bit homely in the face”.
See how much funnier that is than if he had just called her homely?
I rest my case.
So, you know how I think it’s really funny when someone adds “in the face” to stuff?
“A tire hit her.”
I just found something else that I think is really funny: the word “knifing”.
Actor arrested in knife attack
Aug. 12: An actor who played a supporting role in the movie the “40 Year Old Virgin” is arrested on suspicion of knifing his ex-girlfriend. KNSD’s Tony Shin reports.
It would not have been at all funny if they had said that he was arrested for stabbing his girlfriend, but since they said he knifed her… hilarious to me.
Alexia’s response to my comments: “It’s too bad he didn’t knife her in the face.” Ha!
P.S. The story about the actor and his girlfriend actually isn’t funny at all… I just like how they use the noun “knife” as a verb… Please no comments about how offensive I am.